Long Distance Goodbye
by RadiantBeam
Summary: A reckless action taken by Lutecia on her mission forces Vivio to realize that she still has a lot to learn about what her girlfriend's job truly means to her. ::Vivio x Lutecia::
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

****

* * *

**Long Distance Goodbye**

"_I don't think I'll make it on my own."_

-Goo Goo Dolls

* * *

Lutecia hummed softly to herself as she clicked open her can of cherry Coke and took a sip, absently scrolling through the small packets of information popping up on the holoscreen floating in front of her face, dismissing certain pieces of information with a quick flick of her fingers and studying other pieces intently, taking another drink. Even though it looked like she was handling important matters, in fact she wasn't doing much of anything at all; the order from Admiral Chrono Harlaown kept her from being on active field agent status thanks to her almost-breakdown, and Vivio still had some time left in school before she headed home.

With a sigh, Lutecia made another piece of information—some small, forgettable story about a live action skit on television mocking the government once again—disappear from the holoscreen and leaned back against the couch, the diamond earrings she wore flashing dimly in the low light of the apartment. "Agito," she called absently, "don't raid the fridge too much."

"Aw, come on Lulu, have a heart." The red-haired Device's voice was plaintive, clearly meant to tug at her heartstrings. "I haven't had a decent meal in days."

"I thought Shamal's cooking was getting better."

"It barely passes beyond toxic."

Lutecia sighed, blinking when her message box flashed. "Go ahead, but don't take anything too sweet. Mom will notice." Ignoring the Device's cheer of victory, the purple-haired summoner clicked on the message and opened it, scanning it quickly without even bothering to read the fluff, going straight for the main message.

Her eyes widened, then narrowed. With a flick of her wrist, she closed the holoscreen and set her cherry Coke down on the table, leaving it only half finished as she stood, grabbing the jacket she'd slung over the couch and pulling it on as she strode to the door.

"Lulu?" Agito stuck her head out of the kitchen, wobbling dangerously under the weight of a muffin. "Where are you going?"

"Something came up." Lutecia was on autopilot now; she'd entered the mode ever since reading the message. "Tell Mom when she comes home that I'm out, Agito. I shouldn't be too long."

"Wait a minute, aren't you on—"

The door closed with a soft click before Agito could even finish the sentence.

* * *

Lutecia didn't know quite how her team leader still assumed she was on active duty, but when the mission was a chance to take down the second-in-command of the drug lord, she didn't really care. Especially since, at the very least, this would even out the scales; the family's blood would always stain her hands, but at least in capturing this man, she could make the stain fade somewhat. Grateful to find her workplace mostly empty—or, at the very least, not containing someone who would know she was _not _supposed to be there—Lutecia reached the conference room and knocked on the door, as per usual, before stepping inside.

Vernon Ransam barely glanced up from his report, simply waved Lutecia in. "Good to have you back, Alphine," he said. "You got my message, I take it."

"Yes, sir." Lutecia slid into a chair, flicking a glance briefly at the tawny-haired young man at her side before focusing on her team leader. "You've tracked down the second-in-command?"

"Hiding in his big, fancy mansion outside of town. Not discreet, but for a long time no one's really checked to see who owns the place and he's been careful to cover any tracks that would lead back to it." Ransam smirked, flipping the folder shut, and finally met Lutecia's gaze. "I know what happened screwed you up, Alphine, but the fact is, you have all the more reason now to put the heat on this guy and take him down."

Lutecia was half tempted to ask just how her team leader didn't know she was supposed to be on break from the case, considering Chrono had issued the decision several days ago, but she didn't dare question it. Whatever punishment she received for disobeying orders would be worthwhile if she could take down the drug cartel's second man.

"What's the plan?" Absently, the purple-haired woman drummed her fingers against the table, in tune to one of Vivio's favorite songs that had gotten stuck in her head. "Go in and kill him? Or do we want him alive?"

"I'd like to say kill him and be done with it, especially since taking this guy in will probably _really _alert his boss to what's going on." Ransam scowled in frustration. "But since that guard friend of ours put a pistol to his head, we don't have many other options."

Lutecia's drumming faltered for half a second before picking back up at its usual pace. On some level she was shaken by how coldly Ransam had dismissed the deaths of innocents, and wondered when his retirement was coming up; perhaps she was overreacting, but she couldn't fight the feeling that she'd just glimpsed a hint of a rogue Shadow in the making.

She was distracted by the other man's soft "Yes, sir" and glanced at him for the first time. Her trained eye recognized a rookie Shadow right away; while the kid clearly wasn't as young as she'd been when she'd joined the NSIS, she saw the unnatural stiffness in his posture, heard the politeness in his tone and sharpness that was just a tad uncalled for, saw that small light of nervousness in his eyes despite his attempt to look composed.

Ransom noticed her glance and chuckled. "So, you finally noticed. Alphine, meet Deryl White. Just finished his preliminary training, so he'll be joining you today for his first mission."

"With all due respect, sir," Lutecia began, glancing at the boy again before continuing on, "don't you think it would be better if I did this myself, or had someone more experienced in the case working with me?"

"White's a member of our team, he's just new to the field. And really, what's the worst that can happen?" With a snort, Ransam leaned back in his chair. "You've got enough experience and firepower for him, Alphine. Just let him hide behind you and see how things work, this guy isn't going to be that hard."

Lutecia disagreed, but she knew now wasn't the time to try and buck her leader's decisions.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

The mansion was, as Ransam had stated earlier, big. Extremely big. Lutecia was actually surprised to discover there was no wall or fence around it, and no clear system of defense; the thing nearly looked like a castle of the Belkan age, with tall towers and dark gray stones, built upon a rolling green landscape far outside the outskirts of the main city.

_But where are the guards?_

The lack of a noticeable defense system wasn't the only thing that had the summoner's wariness going up a notch; it was the complete, utter silence and stillness that seemed to have fallen over the whole mansion. Other then the occasional breeze blowing by, briefly stirring the grass, there was no sound coming from the large home and no sign of life.

Perhaps she was being paranoid; after all, with such a build, the mansion was clearly meant to be a place that no one could easily hear or see anything. But still, something about the whole situation had a chill running down her spine.

"Alphine?"

Shaking her head briefly to get her thoughts back under control, Lutecia glanced at Deryl. Seeing the nervousness in the boy's eyes, she gave him a brief smile. "I'm fine, White. Just thinking." She turned her attention back to the mansion. Perhaps she was over judging the situation, but better safe than sorry. "Do me a favor and stay close to me, okay? I don't like how this feels."

Deryl frowned, baffled. "How it feels?" he asked.

Of course, he didn't notice it. The boy was just a rookie; only time and training could give him the ability to detect when something felt fundamentally wrong. "Just stay close to me, please? It'll give me a peace of mind."

She was relieved when he hesitated, then nodded his consent; perhaps he couldn't understand what she was thinking, but at the very least he wouldn't question it. Absently brushing a loose strand of purple hair back behind her ear, Lutecia took a deep breath and closed the distance to the mansion.

The walk was relatively short, and as they headed for the door no one came to either greet them or stop them. Nervously, Deryl cleared his throat. "Hey, shouldn't someone be trying to stop us?" he asked. "I mean, we're kind of trespassing."

He was beginning to notice it now, too. Good; the sooner he picked up on these things, the better. "Could be nobody's home," Lutecia replied casually, and bounded up the stairs with far more light-heartedness than she felt. She knew there was no reason for it, but out of old habit she lifted her hand and knocked on the door.

It creaked open under her hand slightly, just enough for her to know it was unlocked.

_Shit. _This wasn't good. Unlocked front doors, especially in cases like these, usually meant something bad had happened, or something bad was about to happen. She lowered her hand. "Say, White, do you have your Device on you?" she asked.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. You might need it." Absently, she brought her hands together so her fingers brushed the double-stranded bracelet that was her Device's Standby Mode when not on duty. "Asclepius."

The small dark purple gems flashed once in response. _**"Barrier Jacket: Engage," **_came the reply, and Lutecia barely even blinked as her Barrier Jacket flashed into place, her mind already beginning to run through every possible scenario for what could happen once they set foot into the mansion.

"I'm ready to go, Alphine," Deryl said softly.

Lutecia nodded to show she'd heard him, then pushed the door open. It swung in silently, with only a soft thud as it hit the wall. Stepping into the mansion, the Belkan summoner wasn't soothed by what she saw; despite the large size of the room and the grand, sweeping staircase that led up to the second level of the house, the place was completely deserted.

She grimaced. It was possible the drug lord had caught wind of the NSIS's intentions and had finished off his second-in-command himself, but that didn't explain why the house was so empty and silent. It was also possible that the second-in-command had heard he was a wanted man and had fled the premises, but that didn't explain the sinking feeling in her stomach. "White, you remember what I told you?" she asked softly.

"Stay close to you?"

"Thank you."

There was only one hallway leading from the entrance, and making sure she had Deryl close by Lutecia set out to check it. The walk was a short one, and in the end it wasn't as bad as she'd feared; a kitchen, rather large, if disturbingly empty and quiet like the rest of the house, with no other doors or hallways. Deciding that the place they needed to go was up, Lutecia backtracked to the entrance and this time went for the stairs.

Thankfully, they weren't attacked on their way up; the staircase was large in itself, but still not as wide as Lutecia would have liked if it had come down to a fight. Breathing a quiet sigh of relief when they reached the top, the red-eyed woman quickly eyed the hallway. Unlike downstairs, there were several doorways. Reaching the first door and rattling the knob, Lutecia found it locked.

Deryl slipped quietly to the other door and nudged it open before he called softly, "Just the bathroom." Nodding, Lutecia left her door and headed down the hallway. Checking the second to last door before a large pair of double doors, she found what could roughly be considered a storage closet. Bracing herself for a battle, she headed for the last door.

The double doors were open a crack, and Lutecia faltered when she drew closer and the scent hit her full on. Shuddering, she closed her eyes. "White, brace yourself," she warned. "This isn't going to be pretty." Hearing the boy gulp softly but murmur an affirmative, Lutecia bypassed the curved handles of the door and pushed it open with her hand.

She'd warned Deryl beforehand, but nothing could have properly prepared either of them for what was on the other side of the door. Massive bloodstains darkened the walls and the floor, signs of struggle were evident from broken furniture, ripped drapes, and overturned trinkets, and sprawled on the bed in a gruesome pile were the bloody, torn bodies of several maids and butlers.

Feeling the strength drain out of her legs, Lutecia wobbled and sagged, tightly gripping the doorframe for support as the blood drained out of her face; behind her, she heard Deryl gag wetly, and didn't even comment as she heard him vomit. Pressing her hand to her mouth and fighting back the rising bile and fury, she closed her eyes. _This is Alphine, _she said, establishing a telepathic link. _No sign of the target yet, but it looks like he figured it was too much trouble to train his staff in combat or get them safely away from here._

Ransam cursed. _How many?_

_I'm not sure, I'd have to go closer to check. From where I'm standing, I'd guess at least five or six._

She opened her eyes, distracted from her conversation as Deryl shakily stepped into the room, his grip on his Device lax with the shock he still felt, his eyes wide and his face pale. "W-who did this?" he whispered weakly. "W-who would…. W-why would anyone…?"

Perhaps time away from the fold had slowed Lutecia's reflexes; perhaps she'd been too stunned and shaken by the scene, or perhaps she simply hadn't been paying attention. It didn't change the fact that in the end, she saw the rustling curtains, the flash of movement, too late.

_Damn!_

"I told you to stay near me, White!"

Even as the portal flashed to life in her hands and Garyuu exploded forth, blades drawn, she knew it wouldn't work both ways; her summon would easily reach the man, but he'd already drawn his Device and let off a shot with a girlish scream, the small beam of energy, a magical bullet hurtling for a stunned, frozen, terrified Deryl.

"_White!"_

* * *

Deryl White had closed his eyes; he didn't want to see the beam actually hit him, though logically he knew he'd probably die before he felt any pain. He was only sixteen, but he liked to think that he could die without regrets; though really, it would have been nice if he could talk to his mom and dad one last time, and tease his little sister, and really, now that he thought about it he probably should have confessed to that girl he liked and asked her if she'd like to go to the dance with him….

"Geez, White…" Lutecia's voice was ragged, shaky, almost hoarse, and she laughed weakly. "What am I going to do with you, huh? I can't really cover you on this…."

Baffled, Deryl slowly opened his eyes. Why was Lutecia dead, too?

Then he saw.

Garyuu had the man down, one blade pressed threateningly to the man's stomach and the other at his throat, the man blubbering and whimpering like a baby. The Device he'd used to take the shot had been knocked away, completely shattered by the strength of the insect summon.

As the smoke from the attack slowly cleared, Deryl finally glimpsed Lutecia; the older woman was down on one knee, trembling slightly, her hand tightly gripping her side. Even from the distance, he could see her Barrier Jacket had been shattered, the attack having shot straight through her side and clean through. Her breathing was ragged, but she chuckled. "Oh, man," she whispered hoarsely. "Vivio's going to scold me for this…."

The diamond earrings she wore flashed as she crumbled to the ground in a heap, passed out long before she hit the ground. Deryl stared for a moment before he scrambled to her side.

"Alphine! Alphine, hey, wake up! Come on! Alphine! Pull yourself together!"

Even in his fear, he saw Garyuu twitch and made the mental connection.

_I need the team leader, now! Alphine's down! I repeat, Alphine is down, and it looks pretty bad!_

Blood was already beginning to pool beneath her.

* * *

Vivio sighed, twirling her pencil absently between her fingers and resisting the urge to check the clock. She'd wanted to go over to Lutecia's as soon as she got home; though a day or two had passed since the fallout of learning the truth about her job, the younger girl was still concerned about her girlfriend's wellbeing and didn't like leaving her alone.

She actually had almost made it out, but Nanoha had caught her and insisted that this time, at least, she stay home instead of doing her schoolwork at Lutecia's apartment. It was enough to make her scowl, but she'd obeyed without much of a fight; the brunette had gotten better in accepting that her daughter was keeping her relationship as it was, but Vivio still knew things were fragile right now between her mother and Lutecia.

She'd also reasoned that focusing on her homework could keep her reasonably distracted from thinking about Lutecia, but in that aspect it was failing miserably. The history homework was laughable at best, and even the math wasn't tripping her up as badly as it usually did on a regular day. It was ironic, she mused; perhaps she was doing so well because she couldn't stop thinking about her girlfriend and figured the sooner she got her work done, the sooner she could see her?

"Vivio."

Nanoha's warning call snapped the honey blonde out of her thoughts, and with one last glance in her mother's direction the teenager sighed and tried to focus more on her homework; but it was _hard_. She couldn't completely ignore the nagging feeling in the back of her mind that something was wrong, that something _bad _had happened. It was starting to overwhelm her, honestly; the more she thought about it, the more worried she became. Shaking her head, she glanced up. "Nanoha-mama—"

Before she could say more, the sound of knocking interrupted her train of thought and made Nanoha look up curiously. Exchanging a look with her wife, Fate came downstairs from where she had been working on an Enforcer report and opened the door. "Hello?" She blinked in surprise. "Onii-chan?"

In the doorway, Chrono gave a small, tight smile. "Hi. Would you mind helping me out, Fate? I might need your Enforcer skills to figure out why the hell an agent I strictly listed as off-duty ended up in the hospital with a side injury."

* * *

What, did you really think I was going to kill Lutecia?

And I am _back _from hiatus, baby! At least until chapter 2 of this fic needs to come out anyway, heh.

Also, don't ask me why this fic has the title it has. I was listening to "Long Distance Goodbye/Landing" by Trevor Rabin when this idea came to me, and the name just stuck.

Read and review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Dammit.

* * *

Chrono Harlaown was on the warpath.

To say he was furious was an understatement. Even though he was composed and cool, even though his voice was even and, in fact, very soft, his order to his secretary to arrange a meeting with the Oversight Subcommittee had the poor girl practically bolting from his office, paler than a ghost.

It was no secret. The man was furious.

In the long term, he knew he had no reason to be. Despite the fact that the Subcommittee would need a report for the mission, the fact that an off-duty field agent had been _back _in the field to complete the assignment was one that would never reach their ears. As far as they knew, the operation had been successful and the man they had wanted had been taken down without issue or casualties, not counting the dead cleaning staff. So, in terms of actually doing his job, Chrono had no reason to be as angry as he was.

"Hm, what a lovely aura, Chrono-kun. Do you let other people see this side of the job, or am I just special like that?"

It was a sign of how accustomed he was to her abilities that Chrono didn't even jolt when he heard Yagami Hayate's soft voice; nonetheless, he did look up at her and scowl. "You need to stop doing that," he grumbled. "You're setting a bad example for your sons."

"As if they even know I do this." All grace and composure with a wicked gleam in her eye, Hayate easily settled in one of the chairs as if she belonged there. "So, any particular reason why you look ready to snap someone's neck?" She knew him well enough to guess why; she knew he would feel better if he told her himself.

He glared. When Hayate simply met his gaze calmly, he sighed and slumped slightly in his chair, rubbing his eyes. "You're here, so you already know why."

Hayate was quiet at this; yes, she knew why. As Chrono had already said, she wouldn't be here if she didn't know. Still, she honestly would have preferred it if he had said it himself. Instead, she shifted in her chair and leaned back. _If you want to play it that way, Chrono-kun. _"Lutecia-chan."

"Yes."

"She was out in the field when she should have been off-duty."

"It isn't just that." The words were quiet, but sharp. "If it was simply disobeying an order, I could accept it. I would slap a warning on her and force her off-duty for a longer period. But to add to that, she's already at her breaking point. Mentally and emotionally, she can't take more strain—"

"And then she went out into the field and added more strain." Hayate sighed. "Which brings me back to the question I wanted to ask: _why _was she out there, Chrono-kun?"

"I didn't dispatch her, if that's what you want to know. I only heard about it when I was called in." Chrono frowned, leaning back in his chair. "I know when to pull my agents back, Hayate, and in this case if I didn't, Vivio would kill me."

The honesty in his words, the calm gaze that met her eyes, made Hayate relax. "I suspected as much," she said with a small smile. "But I wanted to be sure." She rested her chin in the palm of her hand, narrowing her eyes thoughtfully. "It doesn't explain why she was still listed on active duty, though, unless her team leader simply disregarded the notice that said she was inactive?"

"No. I received the notice when she was taken off the field. If she was still listed as active, I would have been told about it long before this happened, unless there was a failure in communication." The other possibilities, however, weren't any easier to consider.

"Is that why you asked Fate-chan to help?"

"That was a joke, and a badly timed one at that." Chrono shook his head. "Even if I wanted Fate to look into it, I have no evidence that Lutecia's information was tampered with so she would appear to be on-duty again. For all I know, it could have been an error in the system."

_You and I both know you don't believe that, _Hayate mused, but she could understand Chrono's logic. Until they looked into it further, he had no reason to get the Enforcers involved, much less his own sister. The NSIS prided itself on being discreet; if someone opened an investigation in the unit, there was a good chance the whole thing would be blown wide open.

Dismissing the thought for the time being, the brown-eyed woman crossed her legs. "So, where is Lutecia-chan? I saw no sign of her when I came in."

At that, Chrono chuckled.

"Being treated for her injury in the medical ward. If I know him at all, the head medic should be right about done with chewing her out."

Hayate winced. "He doesn't like her?"

"He doesn't like the fact that she comes in so much for treatment."

There was a moment of silence as the younger woman considered this; she nodded, as if accepting what Chrono had said. It made sense, after all. Even someone who specialized in healing would eventually become weary of healing the same person on a regular basis.

Still, though, she had one more thing to ask. "Just call me nosy, Chrono-kun, but why exactly did you visit Fate-chan? You have to know that Vivio will come."

Chrono chuckled again.

"Vivio is better at scolding Lutecia than I am, Hayate. Lutecia actually _listens _to her."

Hayate considered this for a moment.

"… Point."

* * *

"You're _fired_."

"I'm afraid you don't have that authority, doctor." Lutecia paused. "Besides, you've already threatened to fire me the last three times I came in here. It's starting to get unoriginal."

The glare she received from Dr. Bonneville told her that her comment hadn't been appreciated; grumbling under his breath, the man made some final notes on his report and slapped it shut. The overall treatment had only take about ten or fifteen minutes, but the lecture she'd also gotten from the man had eaten up the last half hour or so. It was becoming standard for them to do this, she thought, and briefly wondered why that didn't even bother her.

"I might not be able to fire you, girl, but there are still things I can do. Slap suicide watch onto your file, for one." Bonneville was smart enough to know that even if he did that, though, it wouldn't change much. At the most, it would increase the time Lutecia was off the field, possibly force her into a corner where she had no choice but to accept speaking to a psychologist, but in the long run nothing would change. He knew as well as anyone that unless she was forced, Lutecia would never willingly speak to a psychologist even if the NSIS offered it; she had waved aside the service numerous times in the past.

The threat worked enough to make Lutecia wince, just as he had hoped; she sighed. "Sorry."

"Stop doing that, too. At the very least, you pulled the mission off successfully, so there's nothing you need to apologize to _me _for. Save those for when the chief comes in."

She grimaced at that; of course Chrono would have found out. Somehow, the realization didn't surprise her. Taking a deep breath and shaking her head, she leaned back against the wall, crossing her legs on the medical bed as Bonneville filed his report. "How's White?"

"The kid?" Bonneville snorted and shook his head. "Shaken up, but he'll live. I'll have to give Ransam a chewing out too when this all settles. I don't know what he was thinking, sending out a green rookie into this kind of operation." He closed his filing cabinet. "In any case, Alphine, you stay here and rest. I healed your wound, but you'll still feel sore for awhile, and the chief asked you to stay in one place."

"He's afraid I'll run?" Not that she could run even if she wanted to. It had only been a couple hours since the mission had gone down and, as Bonneville had already said, she _did _feel sore from the healing.

"With your track record, he's more afraid that you'll get yourself hooked into another mission before he gets his claws into you. He even sent a baby-sitter."

The door swung open then, and somehow it didn't surprise Lutecia as her longtime off-again, on-again partner Victor Stormhawk strolled into the medical ward as if he owned the place, his brown eyes lazy and his dirty blonde hair pulled back in its short, signature rat's tail. She growled softly and aimed a glare at Bonneville. "Low blow," she muttered. "Low blow, doctor."

"He's the only one I know for sure you won't try to buck." Shrugging, Bonneville stretched and grimaced as his back cracked. "In any case, Vic, keep an eye on her for me, got it? I've got other patients to tend to."

"Aye, Doc." Victor lifted his hand in a small salute, and with a snort Bonneville disappeared from Lutecia's side, going further into the ward to check on his other patients—if he even had any. Lutecia wouldn't put it past him to leave her alone with Victor as punishment for going out into the field. He knew as well as anyone that none of the Shadows could get under her skin quite like her occasional partner could. No doubt that in his mind, this was some form of punishment for going against orders and getting injured.

Accepting her fate, Lutecia sighed. "So, what brings you here, Storm?"

"Other than the good doctor's request?" He pulled out two candy bars, tossing one to Lutecia and keeping the other for himself. "I just thought you'd have questions, namely about your mission and how we knew you were out there."

"All right, I'll start with the simple question." Tearing open the wrapper, Lutecia took a big bite; she hadn't eaten since breakfast, and it was already well into the afternoon. "How did you realize I was out in the field?"

"You can thank your little friend back home for that one." Opening his own candy bar, Victor took a healthy chomp from it. "Charlie called to see how you were doing, and she said you'd left about ten minutes before he called. She's probably going to yell at you, by the way. When she found out you weren't supposed to go, she was furious."

"Somehow I'm not surprised." Lutecia couldn't bring herself to blame Agito, though; the Unison Device had always had her best interests at heart, and it was no wonder that she would be angry after discovering her charge wasn't supposed to be attending the mission. "And the bodies White and I discovered at the site? Was that an outside hit, or…?"

The man shook his head. "Nope. You caught the man Ransam wanted you to catch. There was no outsider involved in it."

Her stomach clenched painfully; she slowly lowered her snack. "So it was him, then."

"Yeah, at least, as far as we've been able to determine. I don't know all the details myself, but it seems our boy suspected he would be next on the hit list when our informant killed himself and the main boss went into hiding. You could say it undid some screws." As if to demonstrate, Victor lightly tapped the side of his head. "I don't know what he intended to do next, but his cleaning staff wasn't trained in protection or combat."

"And he probably didn't want to take the time and energy to get them out safely," Lutecia finished softly, bowing her head and tightening her grip on her bar. It made sense, on some cruel, simple level; if the unit wasn't trained and couldn't be saved and the enemy was coming, it was easier and less time-consuming to simply let them be killed, either by the hands of their leader or by the hands of the enemy. It made sense. It made sense, it really did, but…

_But… it's so cruel._

The girl who had first joined the NSIS would have probably been sickened by the fact that she could even understand such motivations, even in her damaged mindset. The woman she had become was still sickened by it, but understood it nevertheless.

Victor watched Lutecia silently before he shrugged and took one last bit from his candy, walking over and easily boosting up onto the medical bed, sitting beside her. "So, Alphine, I've got a question for you now."

"What, Storm?" Finding she wasn't hungry anymore, Luteca set down her snack on a nearby table.

"Why did you go out for this mission?" Victor glanced at her. "You had to have known the risks, and outside of that, you _knew _you'd get chewed out the moment you went against orders to stay inactive."

Lutecia was quiet. She didn't have to tell him. She knew she didn't; if she gave him no reason or said she didn't want to talk about it, Victor would accept it and let her be. And things were already bad enough, since she had broken down and confessed everything to Vivio. But even then she had only told Vivio the simple facts and had still kept much of her own feelings inside, not wanting to burden the younger girl. Vivio loved her, but this was something she wouldn't fully understand; and even if she didn't want to tell him, Victor would understand it better than Vivio ever could. So, she simply said the one thing that had been haunting her ever since she had burst into that house to find four innocents murdered in their sleep.

"I killed them."

Victor said nothing. He knew what he could do; he could deny it, say it wasn't her fault, a whole plethora of comments meant to soothe. He also knew that it wasn't what Lutecia wanted to hear; not right now.

"I killed them," she repeated, and leaned back against the wall. "I know it wasn't my hands that did it; I know I wasn't the one who went into those rooms and pulled the trigger. But, even if it was inadvertently, I killed them. I was the one who went to Ransam after scouting out the patrol guards and told him who the weak link was; I was the one who suggested applying pressure on him." She closed her eyes. "I killed them in that moment, Storm. The man may have taken the gun and pulled the trigger, but _I _gave him a reason to pick up that gun in the first place."

"You can't see into the future, Alphine." Victor crumbled the wrapper in his hand and tossed it into the trash can in the corner. "You had no way of knowing how he'd react. You were acting under orders; trying to find the way to get in that presented the least amount of bloodshed."

"And I failed miserably at that, didn't I?" The soft sound that escaped Lutecia's throat was ragged, a mixture of a laugh and a sob. "Even if it was just a job to get in quietly without attracting the boss's attention, there's no reason for people to die. You shouldn't have to kill people when you're working on an infiltration."

_So why did I let them die?_

"We're Shadows." He said it simply, calmly, quietly; she knew as well as he did that at the core, the Shadows were nothing more than trained assassins. Death was expected on their missions, regardless of their objectives. It was what they were taught from the very first day.

"We're Shadows," Lutecia repeated, and a shudder ran down her body; her hands clasped tightly on her lap. "I know that. I've always known that. So why does it always hurt?" Her voice cracked. "I could always justify it by saying, I'm a Shadow. What they were doing was wrong. If I didn't kill them, someone else would have done it. That by doing this small evil, I'm preventing something even worse from happening. I'm protecting people in the only way I know how." Her hands trembled. "But then, how do I justify everyone else who died? The innocent people who get caught in the crossfire, the guard who was just doing his job, the rogues that snapped because they couldn't take it anymore, the Shadows who were killed on the mission?" Her eyes began to burn. "How am I supposed to justify any of that?"

Victor said nothing; it wasn't words Lutecia wanted. Perhaps it was selfish, but all she needed was an ear to talk to, a shoulder to lean on. Wordlessly, he lifted his free hand and gently rested it on her head, pulling her down onto his shoulder as her whole body began to tremble.

"I can't. I know I should, but I can't. In my head, I just can't justify it. I can't accept it." The tears fell now; hot, wet tears that streaked her face. "Because if I accept it, if I say that it doesn't _matter _that they died, then I haven't changed at all. If I justify it, then I'm still that ten-year-old kid who kidnapped an innocent girl for torture and experimentation." Her voice finally broke. "I don't _want _to be that kid again, Storm."

She was crying now; not great, loud, heaving sobs, but Victor felt the tremor in her body, saw the tears falling, and knew she was crying. Sighing softly, he stroked her hair and held her close. "I don't know," he said softly. "I think, and it's just me, if the kid grew up to see the world the way you do, Alphine, nothing was ever really wrong with her in the first place."

Neither of them knew how much time passed as they sat like that; it could have been minutes, and it could have been hours. The only change Victor was aware of was when Lutecia's tears began to dry, her body gradually going still as her breathing became deeper and more even. Briefly, he wondered if perhaps the woman was starting to fall asleep.

A soft knock on the open door made them both glance up, Lutecia blinking and swiping quickly at her eyes with the back of her hand; Chrono Harlaown raised a hand in greeting, walking over to the medical bed once he was sure he had their attention. Victor smiled slightly as Lutecia shifted and moved away from him, establishing a distance. "Hey, Chief. Is Alphine in trouble again?"

Chrono gave Lutecia a look that had the younger woman wilting slightly. He held the look for a moment before once more turning to Victor. "Actually, I'm not the one in charge of deciding that. It's been taken out of my hands."

"What do you mean—" And then she saw the movement at his shoulder, someone else entering the room. The blood drained out of her face. "Vivio."

The name came out as a squeak; she didn't know if she felt relieved at seeing her girlfriend or completely terrified. The only person she saw was Vivio; Fate and Nanoha were behind her, flanking Chrono, but she barely even noticed their presence. Her mouth felt dry. "Did you…. Ah… just now…."

Lutecia was babbling, and she knew it; the words poured out of her even though she wanted nothing more than to shut her mouth and keep quiet. She probably would have kept babbling, too, but at that moment Vivio quietly brushed by her uncle, shrugged off the jacket she was wearing, and gently draped it over Lutecia's shoulders, wrapping her arms around the older woman and nuzzling her hair gently. "Come on, Cia," she said softly. "Let's go home."

She had nothing to say that; honestly, the thought of going home sounded wonderful right now. Lutecia murmured a soft "Thanks" to Victor before she slid off the bed. Her legs were still a little shaky and the movement sent a bolt of pain through her side, but Vivio wrapped an arm tightly, almost protectively, around her waist and held her close as they left the medical ward.

Nanoha stepped forward as they passed by, gently resting her hand on Vivio's shoulder. "Vivio."

Their eyes met; Lutecia didn't know what emotions passed through the brief gaze. Vivio took a deep breath. "I'll be home a little late tonight, Nanoha-mama," she said. "I'm going to take Cia home." She didn't wait; very gently, the honey-blonde shifted away from Nanoha's touch, smiled at her mother, and left the medical ward with her girlfriend.

She didn't let go of her even once as they walked back to her apartment.

* * *

I apologize for how long it took me to get this updated. Real life has been rather busy lately, not to mention that it took me awhile to actually figure out Lutecia's mindset for this piece. I know it isn't much of an excuse, but I'm still sorry it took me so long.

Special thanks once again to DezoPenguin, who not only beta-read this chapter for me but also helped me figure out how Lutecia's mind works from an outside perspective, thus making my life a bit easier in pinning down exactly what she might be thinking or feeling. Another thank you goes out to Moczo, who gave me the incentive to keep working on this even when I wanted to rip my hair out through our PMs on AnimeSuki. Just as planned!

Also, as a note, the medic Bonneville is not my character. He belongs to DezoPenguin and was featured in the omake posted after "Gentle Shadow" in _Shadowfire_.

Read and review, please!


	3. Interlude: Vivio

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing. I have enough trouble trying to figure out the new format on this site.

Author's Notes: Originally this wasn't part of LDG, but a friend of mine suggested getting into Vivio's head a bit more, and I like the chance to expand a bit on her thoughts on Shadowverse and how she's handling things. So, here you go.

* * *

If Vivio could use any one word to describe the events of the past few days, she would have used _fast_.

Or perhaps, more accurately, _instantaneous_.

Vivio could not clearly remember a moment since Lutecia's initial breakdown where she'd had a chance to actually get her feet under her and think things through. In the beginning, there had been Lutecia, and Lutecia had needed someone to hold her as she had cried. Then she had gone home, where Nanoha and Fate had been waiting, and there had been their questions which only added to her own confusion. Then back to Lutecia, to settle things once and for all and to figure out where their relationship currently was after this revelation.

Certainly, some days had passed after the revelation and should have given Vivio some time by herself to figure things out, but even then she didn't know where to start. She had just been trying her best to live as if nothing had happened when Chrono had knocked on the door.

And now, the seventeen-year-old girl stood by the door to the medical area of the building, and as she listened to her girlfriend speak—or, more accurately, break down—she had to resist the urge to burst into the room and pull her into a tight, crushing hug and never let her go.

Since she knew it would solve nothing in the long run, she swallowed the urge and instead crossed her arms tightly over her chest, her fingers digging into the skin of her arms. She saw the flash of gold out of the corner of her eye, and without thinking about it her arm shot out, gently barring Fate from going into the room. She glanced over, saw the confused look in her mother's eyes, and quietly shook her head.

She understood what her mother was thinking; she had the same thoughts running through her head. But this time, Vivio wanted to fully hear the problem that was buried at the root of Lutecia's issues, and try to actually _think about it _instead of reacting.

That part bugged her the most; that she had no logical, reasonable solution to Lutecia's problem. She wasn't like Victor Stormhawk. She couldn't say the words that somehow made everything seem less scary, or break down Lutecia's arguments with a simple comeback. Vivio's solution to a problem tended to be something she had inherited from her mother: to dive right into the emotional heart of it.

She was beginning to realize, though, that if she wanted to help her girlfriend fully, she also needed to approach this from a logical standpoint.

Easy in theory, at least.

"Hey, Chief. Is Alphine in trouble again?"

Victor's cheerful, only slightly strained voice snapped Vivio out of her reverie; Chrono had finally seen fit to enter the room, it seemed, having apparently heard all that he needed to hear. She was impressed, in some corner of her mind, at how composed her uncle seemed to be at this moment.

Chrono gave Lutecia a long, quiet look that had the woman wilting; Vivio could only guess what wordless message had passed between them before he finally spoke. "Actually, I'm not the one in charge of deciding that. It's been taken out of my hands."

From where she was standing, the younger girl saw confusion wash over the summoner's face. "What do you mean—"

She took that as her cue; Vivio stepped out of the hallway, not even glancing back at Nanoha and Fate. The moment Lutecia saw her girlfriend, she went pale.

"Vivio. Did you…. Ah… just now…."

Lutecia was babbling, and judging by the nervous look in her eyes, she knew it; it was one of those old habits she had never managed to break, even with age. It was something Vivio had always found endearing, and even now, with the situation as bad as it was, she had to resist the small, brief urge to smile.

There was another time and place for it, though.

Vivio stepped past Chrono, gently brushing his shoulder with hers as she went by; coming to stand in front of Lutecia, she shrugged off her jacket and draped it over the older woman's shoulders, immediately silencing her. There were a million things she knew she could say at this moment, anything she could ask; Lutecia was open and hurting, and she was probably closer to speaking honestly than she ever had been, in this moment with her defenses down, her scars open and bleeding.

But now wasn't the time, and Vivio had never been the kind of person to take advantage of someone's emotional state, anyway.

She nuzzled into the older woman's hair, resting her forehead against her girlfriend's. "Come on, Cia." Her voice was soft. "Let's go home."

There was a brief pause—only a few seconds, really. A quiet sigh shook Lutecia's body, and for a moment she seemed to lean more into Vivio before she nodded and pulled away, murmuring a quiet "Thanks" to Victor. She staggered a bit when she slid off the table, but Vivio slid an arm tightly, protectively around her waist, and held her steady.

There was some deep, quiet satisfaction in how Lutecia leaned on her, in that moment.

She was focused on supporting Lutecia, simply on holding her up, because at that moment the older woman felt so fragile that Vivio feared she would break apart if she let go. But she felt the soft, warm hand on her shoulder and looked up, meeting Nanoha's gaze. "Vivio."

Vivio couldn't quite place what emotion was in Nanoha's voice at that moment; she couldn't quite read the message in her mother's eyes. Or perhaps she could, and simply didn't want to. She took a deep breath, steeled herself, and held her mother's gaze. "I'll be home a little late tonight, Nanoha-mama. I'm going to take Cia home."

She shifted away from her mother's hand; a small, clear gesture, and Nanoha didn't reach back out for her. Vivio smiled briefly at her mother, then gently guided Lutecia out of the building, and into the sunlight.

At some point during the walk home, Lutecia's fingers gently entwined with Vivio's, and held on tightly. They stayed that way until they reached the door of her apartment.

This time, Vivio gave in to the urge to smile.

* * *

Don't worry. Next chapter is when the fun _really _starts.

Read and review, please!


	4. The End

Well, it's certainly been awhile.

As I'm sure any of you who are still following Shadowverse have noticed, the 'verse itself has been quite inactive for awhile. I haven't added a new drabble to "Shadowfire" it quite a long time, and Long Distance Goodbye has gone without an update for over a year. I apologize deeply for that, and sadly, I have some more bad news.

At this point, I've decided to end Shadowverse for good. I no longer have the desire to continue working on it, and unfortunately it would have taken several more stories to get it to the ending I had in mind.

I had a lot planned. The next few stories would have covered Lutecia's background with her original partner, as well as her time on Mau Gram and her recovery and return. Yes, Lutecia and Vivio would have eventually had sex and lived together. I never did decide if I was going to end with them married or not, so you can feel free to imagine they did or didn't.

I would like to thank you all for your support of the 'verse up until now. Sadly, I doubt I'll still around in the Nanoha fandom now that I'm closing this. But I'll be around Fate/Stay Night and Sailor Moon, and you might spot me in Legend of Korra.

So, thank you all again. It was fun while it lasted, and I don't regret a single moment of it.


End file.
